2008 Tobay-Pigman Sprint Tri
There is a lot of swearing and some gross (bodily function) parts to this recap. Delete now if you are easily offended.
It all went pear shaped the night before and I never recovered. I know this sounds like this is a list of excuses... well maybe it is. It's all my fault and I take full responsibility for my crappy time. 1:43:00 ridiculous.
I didn't hydrate enough sooo I'm an idiot. I couldn't fall a sleep because I was so excited for the race. I didnt get to sleep before 12. Woke up 4 am packed car and left I didn't eat enough just a peanut butter sandwich and a banana again, idiot. 6:15 Get to race. Get my period. sweet, week early. Only have slenders in bag this should be interesting.
8:30 I'm in the next wave, I'm hungry. shite no GU, I'm Fk'ed. Got in water swam 400 yards new goggles fill up. peachy.
I go into transition 1 I'm right by the mount so I am pretty psyched that I don't have to run in those shoes. I mount my bike and this doofus cuts me off and mounts in front of me. Then he gets a leg cramp! Instead of pulling aside dealing with his leg cramp. He's all over the place shaking his leg keeping everyone from pa$$ing him. a$$. I finally get around him and I'm doing ok keeping about 18mph then I get to the killer hill. I down shift and these jacka$$es are all swerving. I'm screaming, "on your left" but it matters not.
I'm climbing the hill. It's brutal. People are walking, and this... tool... is going so slow she can't balance and she hits me! I fall and I'm mid f'ing hill! So I try to get back on and the chain slips... futile. So I grab my bike and walk to the top of the hill. (I wish I could say I carried my bike and ran but... no. walked in bike shoes slipping and swearing the whole way) Fix chain and now I'm greasy and pissed. I bike like a freaking animal getting to 38 mph on my downhill. But wait! Another wad of jacka$$es biking 3 across seem to be chatting like they are on a leisurely ride to the beach, car coming in other lane, I have to slow. I get around them, car pulls out of driveway in front of me and stops at stop sign... I'm assuming... to ask cop "what's going on with all the bikers?" I slam on brakes cursing the whole way.
I get to transition 2 and I usually pull my feet out of shoes and run barefoot. Toe says "uh, I don't think so" (I broke my toe on Monday) so I run in bike shoes slipping all over the place. I get on my sneakers and get running. Straight uphill 2 miles. Can't wait. (sarcasm) I'm doing ok pacing with this guy then he decides to pick it up. I try to keep up, but my heart rate is through the roof 185 I feel like vomiting so I slow down and get it to 165 (my good distance pace) I see the turnaround and water station. Awesome all downhill. I stretch out my legs wide and use the momentum and my height to get down the hill fast. (Here it gets gross and totally inappropriate for mixed company, so move to next paragraph is you are squeemish.... Trust me.....) Each step, I feel the tampon coming out of me. Arrrgh annoying. There is a guy with a hose and he sprays anyone down that asks. Since it's like 80 degrees I'm like "YEAH!" so soaking wet running with a stick pushing out of my crotch I see a blood trail on my leg. EEEEWWWWHHHHHHH. Fu¢k I bled through the slender and the water made it run. FU¢K!!! What can I do? I just run. I try to rub my legs together a bit so it's not so obvious but shite, I'm a mess.
I pack up my stuff and try to get outta dodge. I realize my sunblock leaked all over everything. My wallet, keys and iPod. Completely fried. Ggggggrrrrr. I pack up and get out of there. Worst race ever. I figure I got all the kinks out before the Olympic mid-September. (At least I won't have my period.) I'll be doing bike/run bricks on the Olympic race course this week and next before my taper. Get the jello out of my legs.
Mo
It all went pear shaped the night before and I never recovered. I know this sounds like this is a list of excuses... well maybe it is. It's all my fault and I take full responsibility for my crappy time. 1:43:00 ridiculous.
I didn't hydrate enough sooo I'm an idiot. I couldn't fall a sleep because I was so excited for the race. I didnt get to sleep before 12. Woke up 4 am packed car and left I didn't eat enough just a peanut butter sandwich and a banana again, idiot. 6:15 Get to race. Get my period. sweet, week early. Only have slenders in bag this should be interesting.
8:30 I'm in the next wave, I'm hungry. shite no GU, I'm Fk'ed. Got in water swam 400 yards new goggles fill up. peachy.
I go into transition 1 I'm right by the mount so I am pretty psyched that I don't have to run in those shoes. I mount my bike and this doofus cuts me off and mounts in front of me. Then he gets a leg cramp! Instead of pulling aside dealing with his leg cramp. He's all over the place shaking his leg keeping everyone from pa$$ing him. a$$. I finally get around him and I'm doing ok keeping about 18mph then I get to the killer hill. I down shift and these jacka$$es are all swerving. I'm screaming, "on your left" but it matters not.
I'm climbing the hill. It's brutal. People are walking, and this... tool... is going so slow she can't balance and she hits me! I fall and I'm mid f'ing hill! So I try to get back on and the chain slips... futile. So I grab my bike and walk to the top of the hill. (I wish I could say I carried my bike and ran but... no. walked in bike shoes slipping and swearing the whole way) Fix chain and now I'm greasy and pissed. I bike like a freaking animal getting to 38 mph on my downhill. But wait! Another wad of jacka$$es biking 3 across seem to be chatting like they are on a leisurely ride to the beach, car coming in other lane, I have to slow. I get around them, car pulls out of driveway in front of me and stops at stop sign... I'm assuming... to ask cop "what's going on with all the bikers?" I slam on brakes cursing the whole way.
I get to transition 2 and I usually pull my feet out of shoes and run barefoot. Toe says "uh, I don't think so" (I broke my toe on Monday) so I run in bike shoes slipping all over the place. I get on my sneakers and get running. Straight uphill 2 miles. Can't wait. (sarcasm) I'm doing ok pacing with this guy then he decides to pick it up. I try to keep up, but my heart rate is through the roof 185 I feel like vomiting so I slow down and get it to 165 (my good distance pace) I see the turnaround and water station. Awesome all downhill. I stretch out my legs wide and use the momentum and my height to get down the hill fast. (Here it gets gross and totally inappropriate for mixed company, so move to next paragraph is you are squeemish.... Trust me.....) Each step, I feel the tampon coming out of me. Arrrgh annoying. There is a guy with a hose and he sprays anyone down that asks. Since it's like 80 degrees I'm like "YEAH!" so soaking wet running with a stick pushing out of my crotch I see a blood trail on my leg. EEEEWWWWHHHHHHH. Fu¢k I bled through the slender and the water made it run. FU¢K!!! What can I do? I just run. I try to rub my legs together a bit so it's not so obvious but shite, I'm a mess.
I pack up my stuff and try to get outta dodge. I realize my sunblock leaked all over everything. My wallet, keys and iPod. Completely fried. Ggggggrrrrr. I pack up and get out of there. Worst race ever. I figure I got all the kinks out before the Olympic mid-September. (At least I won't have my period.) I'll be doing bike/run bricks on the Olympic race course this week and next before my taper. Get the jello out of my legs.
Mo
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